It has been a few days since I got back from my trip to western united states and about time to jot down some of my thoughts and reflections from the trip.
What started out as planning for a longer road trip from the beginning turned to a one week trip to las vegas with two days trip tours to Page, AZ to visit antelope canyon and horseshoe bend, and Grand Canyon with a stop at hoover dam.
Perhaps my state of mind is muddy and mood easily irritated. The beginning started with Dad sending me to the airport and an argument about which terminal my flight was departing from. My feelings are the same as before. Do as much as you can by yourself, because the people who are there to really help you won't try to hurt you as they do any favours.
Security check was very smooth as there was a straight walk through security after a dog sniff inspection. I was able to get water from Starbucks and board very smoothly. Spirit airlines is a budget airline and the seats were indeed very uncomfortable. But a very economic option for short flights. There were people with large bags that seemed bigger than the allowable personal items size that was permitted to board. Those who paid for a carry on item was able to go through first with priority boarding. There was lots of windy turbulence approaching las vegas during landing which made me quite nauseous.
After meeting up with my friend JP we headed to our hotel. Booked a budget hotel for the first four days and to my surprise it came with items such as paper towels, dish soap, bowls, plates and utensils. The breakfast even has one of the healthiest scrambled eggs and potato mashes I've ever had despite trip advisor reviews saying there was no hot food available. Lovely surprise.
On the first day I prepared lunch so I was not as hungry but decided to stop at an authentic taco place so my friend can fill up. The tacos were very authentic but I mistakenly tried a beef tripe taco that was fried and too spicy. This probably took a toll on my stomach and subsequent bloody bowels in the next few days. For dinner I had my usual salmon with vegetables including carrots, spinach, zucchini. It was a bit pricy for what it is at 30$ but it's vegas and expected. I confirmed with the tours that were booked and the tour guide was quite thorough with the details. But JP was annoyed with the price as I had not given her the thorough breakdown of the cost of the tour that it did not include entrance ticket price. These were all information that was not fully listed in the tour website. But I was able to read the reviews and do research that JP did not get to review beforehand. This practice seems a bit dodgy to begin with and with a mandatory tip it felt uncomfortable. The tour company that is running the antelope tour offered a great value for their tour as it was BOGO. However there is something about them that was not transparent that makes its customers feel like there are trickery. [Complaint #1, I didn't book a solid tour company]
The next day I prepared breakfast and packed and was ready to go and because we left our hotel later than expected we almost missed the car that was taking us to the tour bus. Because of this 5 am almost fiasco, JP kept telling me I could have negotiated and talked with them and didn't need to be on my phone to communicate with the driver. Instead of letting this go and supporting what I did, she was telling me what I should have and could have done. [Complaint #2, I could have handled this better, it wasn't her fault we were almost late] This is something that asians tend to do a lot and it is something I work hard to avoid doing. All the could have and should have are not helpful. Avoid blaming others when they do something that you think is not right because it is not constructive.
Antelope canyon and horse shoe bend are as amazing as I expected. Nowadays we get to see videos and pictures before we reach our travel destinations so pictures look much better than the real experience or we are too busy trying to capture the moments instead of enjoying the moment. The lower antelope canyon was not difficult and was a pleasant stroll. The beauty of nature is indescribable and hard to fathom how the creator architected everything. Horseshoe bend was even more amazing than I imagined. Next time I would love to do a family road trip around the area. Visiting some of the other national parks as well such as Zion, Bryce. Really need to to plan at least a 2 week vacation to cover all these areas as there would be too much driving to cram everything in.
Dinner at till's was great. I had a salad and baked potato which ended up costing 16$ which is pricier than what JP probably imagined. But given there was a 10$ restaurant voucher I hope she understands that food split in half is hard to split exactly. My food costs more than her, but the tacos and the drinks, chocolate, chips, tips, transportation choice, and exchange rate she used should even things out. She lashed out her frustrations on me as I was being myself. I was saying random things because thats what I do to relax and she felt burdened by my words. When I say something, I'm not asking for someone else to do something about it. But from that moment I couldn't speak freely. [Complaint #3, my thoughts were a burden on her]
The next day I didn't rush her, allowed her to make decisions on when to leave and what to do. But my question on taking a bus instead of walking started a disagreement which I backed down on. [Complaint #4, She wanted to walk, and didn't want to take the bus and that was the end] On our walk she seemed angry about walking in hotels probably because of the smoke smell and how casinos are designed to get you lost. She suggested having a burger and I said ok as long as they have salads. But she didn't seem decisive about eating there. Then as we walked further I suggested congee which she didn't seem fond of. Then there was chipotle or panda express which I didn't mind and I suggested in-out burger as another option. I wasn't as hungry as she was. We found a place across in-out that served sushi burrito. The portions were huge and I ate slowly. I should have eaten half and packed half because I was stuffed from the food. Started walking again after the break and JP became angry that I was walking so slow. I probably started walking slower because I was unable to digest all the food that I finished. [Complaint #5, I was walking too slow, eating too slow, planning too much, not communicating] Then an argument started where she was angry that I was walking slowly, and angry that I didn't want to take a break. Part of her seemed fearful on the streets. But I didn't share the same fear for walking slowly. Then the arguments continued with her complaining about how slow I was eating, not telling her about my food restrictions. My mentality is we each take care of our own needs and communicate them and if they differ, then we can do different things. We both get what we want and not have to compromise. JP probably felt like she had to compromise on food because she wanted to go somewhere both of us could enjoy. But food is not something I can compromise on, but I am willing to go wherever she needed to go and order something I could eat. It was not a big deal to me. But her personality is very indecisive and that's one thing I really don't do well with. I can't adapt to someone's changing thoughts all the time. It affects my decision planning. But I need to learn that other people's actions should not affect what I want to do. It's because we both want to cooperate with the circumstances. We headed back, had congee take out and bought some bananas for the next day.
Grand canyon tour was more of a self guided tour. Very fortunate to have met a maintenance staff that walked us to the meet up location. Very fortunate there was only 4 of us on the tour. Very lucky to have brought packed lunch from tills. The driver did his best but I didn't appreciate the texting and driving and speeding like crazy. He did minimal talking and only provided service with doors when we departed hoover dam to collect his tips. The fact that tips were collected middle of the trip felt like the customers are being hijacked. Grand Canyon was like a temple on earth. The view was amazing and breath taking. The weather was very cooperative as well with the sun beaming down at noon. Hover dam is an engineering feet of what man can do. As we approached vegas the talk about what to eat for dinner brought up tension again. [Complaint #6, She was hungry and angry and my suggestions were stupid] I suggested something asian because it was the night of CNY eve. But JP probably didn't have any interest because she was hungry from not having packed lunch and not buying something sustaining to eat for lunch. I told her I was going to get something from denny's and she seemed uninterested in diner food. I told her I would walk wth her to the FSM and get her food first and we ended up with a 20% off coupon on the road. Both of us ate at denny's. I had a salad and some grilled vegetables. Come to think of it, I had three balance meals with oatmeal, cobb salad, peanut butter snacks and salad for dinner. However JP didn't have breakfast, had some snacks like cheese nuts yogurt for lunch. I offered her some of my salad but she didn't eat any. I offered to make her breakfast but she didn't want any.
The next day was move day. We took a cab to our nicer hotel at The Signature. The check-in process was smooth and we were able to check-in early with a high floor 34PH. It was a nice upgrade from our budget hotel the first couple of days. We checked out the pool and were able to get some sun before heading out to our show. My metabolism is not as fast as hers and I was able to snack on some banana and peanut butter. My lunch of chicken caesar salad was very filling and we walked to mirage to pick up our tickets. [Complaint #7, I didn't want to shop and wanted to head to box office directly because we had a lot of walking to do] She said I hope we have good seats and I told her I booked the cheapest seat possible. That brought the mood down again. She said she wanted to visit the flamingo hotel area and we debated on which way to walk again. I guess it was because her wrap and fries weren't really filling because the protein in a wrap is really small. The in-out burger seemed like a pretty normal cheese burger to me. We shopped around and I told her I wanted to go to royce for some chocolate. I had some humus and salad from the food court. We couldn't exit the venetian the way we came in and came across a parking lot. Mistakes happen and it's how we deal with them. However I felt she changes her mind so often that I can't be bothered to argue. Because one moment you are arguing about going left is good and next it becomes an argument about not not going left is good. There is no way to debate when someone changes their position all the time.
The show Love by cirque was amazing. The transitions of the scenes and the acrobatics, aerial, and dance was fantastic. The top row seat offered a great view of the theatre, and I hope to take my sister out to shows like these in the future. I felt like JP was a bit bummed out after the show. And while walking back I couldn't keep pace and she started getting frustrated. When I told her I was trying my best and that she could walk back first if she was tired. But it was a lot of drama and me apologizing. Because by then sorry became my way of saying please stop. I couldn't change how fast I was walking, I couldn't change how angry she was becoming. The trip felt frustrating at times from both sides. I was frustrated b/c I was doing my best and it was not good enough. When people are frustrated and angry there is no room for compassion. I went down and asked for bowls and spoons for the both of us. [complaint #8, I was walking too slow and didn't communicate my physical limitations, but I wasn't complaining about my aching knees]
To sum up the challenges of the trip
- What to eat, when to eat. It was a big deal for her even though she said she was flex and wanted budget.
- Walking everywhere, whose direction to follow. It was a big deal that we walk everywhere and follow her directions and keep up with her pace.
- Budget. I wanted to do a budget trip as well but all the planning goes out the door when you change your mind so often about what to do. No rush to make decisions. Bring enough cash for yourself and don't say you forgot to bring your wallet. Even out expenses at the beginning of the trip. I can pay for my own stuff instead of waiting for another person to pay because they owe you money.
Impressions of this trip.
- There are a lot of white and black people in america and if you are another race you are a minority
- Many asian tourists everywhere
- The casinos are smoke friendly and maze like and filled with neon lights everywhere
- Vegas strip is big and wide
- There are many affordable food options on the strip
- The canyons are very far from vegas
What are some takeaways
1. I am stronger than I think I am. Heading into this trip I was afraid of what my bowels will be like and how it could affect my travels. I had a couple of days of no blood before the trip and was excited and prepared. During the first day, despite the feeling in my gut, I had a taco that was a bit too spicy with some beef tripe meat. Thinking it was like the tripe that was usually found in pho, I took a risk and realized it was not for me. Nonetheless I took a few more bites and that caused some major irritations later on with a film of red in my bowels and more blood than I seen in a while. Over the next few days I experienced some cramping on my lower left intestines and a lot of bloating. Some other culprits and habits that contributed to this were: over charring on the salmon, over eating with no portion control. These were things that I was aware of coming in. Somehow I allowed peer pressure and my need to be okay to over power my needs to speak up and ask for what I wanted. Because my travelling companion was not me, she could not relate to how the tiniest amount of food can cause damage. Her dismissive comments were enough for me to not speak up for myself. But towards the end of the trip I over came these damaging habits. My body was more important than what my friend thought. I had to put myself first. Because we were splitting the cost of food in half and I had already paid more than my fair share in advanced bookings and other costs, it felt like I was constantly waiting for her to pay which made the situation more awkward. So starting from the third night I took charge without feeling guilty. Before I had already prepared homemade instant oatmeal, dandelion tea, protein balls. I bought bananas and eggs from Walgreens. That night I ordered salad and packed my lunch for the next day. I had fish congee which was a nice because of the change of protein source. I snacked on peanut butter banana and protein balls. I had a salad for dinner with some sautéed zucchinis. I ate congee, eggs and potatoes for breakfast, then chicken salad and salad with humus for dinner. Ended the trip with some chicken rice carrot soup. My bowels were at that point back to normal as it can be. It goes to show that food does have an impact on my bowels and can change quite quickly with the right amount of patience. It takes about 2 days of clean eating to get everything in order. Banana and peanut butter, romaine lettuce, avocado, humus, chicken, rice, carrots.
2. If I know what I want, I go after it using whatever way I can. I knew I wanted to see nature from western america and despite not being able to take a longer road trip than originally planned, I was able to still see antelope canyon horseshoe bend and grand canyon in the most efficient way possible. Yes the tours were very long. Yes the tours could have had better communication and transparency. But in the end it is the actions that speak for itself. They provided the transportation that would have taken me more energy, more time to plan, and more money to make it happen. And for that I am very grateful. However the downside with going with a tour was the structured itinerary and control of time. In the future I would know to plan a longer trip with people I enjoy spending time with in a car for extensive amount of time. There are many spots I would still like to visit one day like ZION, Bryce, Powell, Monument Valley, Arches Park, and revisiting the antelope canyon, horseshoe bend and grand canyon.
3. People change and friendships change. We become better versions of ourselves hopefully as we grow older and wiser. And sometimes that means recognizing which relationships are worth investing and which relationships are not. I like to believe I get along with a lot of different types of personalities because it's generally interesting to find out how other people think and value. But in this process, I have lost what I value in a relationship. Maybe it's my stubborn personality or my temperament but some people you can sense that they have the ability to care beyond just their words. Most people will give you room to let you be you. And right now I need space to find me and what I need. It's the uncomfortable moments where I feel uncomfortable being with you after knowing who you really are. Or not knowing who I really am. Can I let go of my ego? Can I stop comparing myself to others? Can I stop caring about what others think? Stop caring what others think of me does not mean I stop caring about people. It just simply means I start caring about myself as equally if not a little bit more because no one will understand your own needs better than you. I need to get away from people who are generally more selfish in everyday life. I need to get away from people who are not straight forward and manipulative. I like simple.
4. Travelling is about finding who you are. Travelling is feeling blessed to be alive. What message do you want to send out? What message do you want to advocate? what do you want to learn and find out?
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